Forgive me, father, for I have sinned:
It’s been two years since my last blog post.
A week is probably fine. Maybe a month.
But two fucking years? Enough time to create a baby and watch it walk its first steps. Enough time to build a house or master the oboe… and I can’t get a blog post together. Mr. Writerly McWriteface can’t pound out a few thousand words for his feverish fan-base?
Shame. Shame. Shame.
So… Intead of feeling like a heap-pile of festering, lazy shit, I choose delusion.
Reasons I haven’t updated in two years:
- In that time, I’ve written sixteen novels and had them published. They’ll both be turned into holographic epics next year.
- I’ve designed and fabricated a new flying wagon, fueled by children’s joy.
- I’ve started my own porn-production company, focused primarily on space-sex.
- I’ve been very busy, learning to fly helicopters and base-jumping and becoming a WWE superstar.
- I can now speak eleven languages, and I’m the best swordfighter on whatever hemisphere I live in.
That’s why I haven’t written a blog in two years. Sorry for the lack of updates, I’ve just been absorbed in all that other super-cool shit.
In short: I’m super busy. So…
See you in another two years.